he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
