so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You are the jesus of drinking
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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