I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
