As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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