she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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