I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
