Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
