So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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