I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize