btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
