so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
