Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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