Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
