Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
