I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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