I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
