Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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