I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize