Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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