dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
only you would photoshop your dick
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wear drunk well.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
