Porn is love you can see.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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