Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
