What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
