So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
