random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
FUCK WHALES
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
