whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Me too!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
