Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and she was petting her beer can
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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