I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize