You really coming over, don't trick.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
BRING THE BAGELS
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
