every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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