K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
