Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
