xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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