i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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