it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
