we have officially lost it.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
