So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
