that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
