wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
