Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
