i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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