Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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