Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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