I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
