i was rollin on her like bob the builder
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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