this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
