if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
