We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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