My pussy is not your playground.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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