My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
