Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
