so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
operation have a gay friend backfired
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
