she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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