i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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