I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
