The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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