I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
