i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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