his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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