i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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