There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
