thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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