jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
