His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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