BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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